Overheard on a blind date
"See, the way I have my 401(k) set up . . . I put in 5% of my paycheck, and I get 15% . . ."
For real.
It was nice of this guy to let the woman he was with know right away that he's maybe the most boring human being on earth. No bandying about, no Beaudelaire in the original French, no existential cinema--straight to the retirement plan. That's a straight shooter.
Now take that next step and remove yourself from the dating pool completely sir.
I'm going to miss the eavesdropping Seattle's coffeeshop culture affords me.
posted by Luke @ 9:04 PM
14 comments
14 Comments:
I hate to tell you this, but some people find financial matters to be VERY interesting, and/or would be pleased to know that a potential romantic partner has $ so well handled... both of these applied to ME when I was single, and I would have been THRILLED to meet a man who said that exact line you quoted.
Why did you think that no woman could want to date this guy?
Listening to the differences between IRAs and Roth IRA's is only interesting for so long... and by "so long" I mean about 4 minutes.
I agree with Luke on this situation. If a man wants to brag about something to make himself more interesting or desireable,.. he should talk about his education, or travelling, his interests or even his CAR for godssakes,.. but his retirement plan? Something that makes him an individual, maybe!
#1. Money is impersonal and tells you nothing about the person, except that he plans ahead.
#2. Discussion of plans for the future should not pass the 5 year period.. especially on a blind date. Dont talk about what color of flowers you want at your wedding, the names of your unborn children or the percentage of your paycheck going into your company 401(k)... thats just too much commitment, ya know?
I dont make sense. Im going to go away.
www.livejournal.com/users/geminiwench
If a man talked to ME about his education, travelling, or his car, his desirability would drop to absolute ZERO; I couldn't care less about his interests, either, frankly, but you DO have to let people rattle on about them in all social situations, so it'd take a little longer for my interest in him to evaporate based on that topic.
If a man can talk about IRA's for an hour, that would make him VERY interesting to me; in fact, I'm married to just such a man. I wouldn't waste my time on ANY man who couldn't talk intelligently about $, and who wasn't investing and planning for the future; these things tell you much of what you need to know about a person, and they're HIGHLY personal, so much so that even people who talk in detail about their sex lives often won't talk about their $.
How a person handles $ is just about the most important thing to take into account when judging their fitness as a romantic partner; if you don't find out this stuff and use it as a decision tool, you'll regret it as long as you're together. The only thing I can think of that's MORE important is whether they're a bad person or not; that one usually takes longer to be sure of, though.
I know none of that sounds spontaneous, or glamorous, or sexy, or whatever... but it allows you to get a long-term, stable relationship by plan rather than by accident.
Omni has a good point, though...a lot of couples don't talk about money, and this is a big reason for divorces. It's an interesting filter, though: first, find the men who are financially responsible, and then see if they are compatible in other ways. I'm not sure I'd go that route myself, but I definitely see the wisdom in making sure you and your partner are on the same page where money is concerned.
My husband and I discuss all purchases over $20 with each other, and have a "money talk" every month while paying the bills. Our system isn't perfect, but I'm glad we at least do that :>
Hey, maybe this was actually a blind audit and not a blind date.
-- Don Sheffler
It occurred to me today that the woman may have asked him about his finances :)
Good point, especially since men complain about women showing WAY too much interest in their $ right from the start (as opposed to their financial sense, which she might also in theory have been trying to find out about). It's also possible that she initiated the financial convo innocently, by bringing up something about her own retirement plan, or something she read in the news about the topic. Or, HE could have made the first reference, and she was interested and joined in. OR, one or the other or both of them might work in the financial industry, and thus talking about $ is integral to who they are.
OR, he might have an inadequately-filled inseam that he's trying to make up for in other ways. ;-)
Maybe he's an accountant or has some background in finance... she could've mentioned problems with rolling over a 401(k) and that sparked a conversation about his 401(k). Could be many ways for this to come up.
Maybe this guy just sat down at a random person's table (and thus initiated a blind date). He has no idea who she is so he says the first thing he can think of "See, the way I have my 401(k) set up . . . I put in 5% of my paycheck, and I get 15% . . ." While this initially confuses the woman, she is also intrigued by the fact that this random stranger has, what looks to be, an excellent financial future and the balls to tell a random woman that fact.
Maybe he was quoting a good friend of his who shows off his investment entirely too often. He doesn't care for inane financial reports, but his friend uses them to show what a great person he is. The woman, who could also care less about $$, finds this to be a humorous anecdote and slowly falls in love with her blind date.
Maybe it is just what it seems to be.
Maybe not.
This is awesome, I leave for a few days and, upon my return, is the funniest set of comments that've ever found their way to this blog.
Omni, did you meet your hubby on a blind date? if so, did he talk about finances . . . it just seems strange to me, I guess that means I'm not your type :) .
And Don: "maybe it was a blind audit" had me rolling.
Glad you saw that :-)
And I got to thinking, if you really get down to it, what actually is the difference between an audit and blind date, but for "method"?
-- Don Sheffler
Glad you saw that :-)
And I got to thinking, if you really get down to it, what actually is the difference between an audit and blind date, but for "method"?
-- Don Sheffler
Don: It must be a rare human indeed who has drank as fully from the fountain of truth as thee, and lived to tell the tale.
I'm leaving to get on a red-eye, perfect save for the 5AM stopover in Chicago.
Au Revoir.
Luke, I DID meet my husband on a blind date, in the sense that that was the first time we'd physically been together, and that's how most people would "count" the first meeting. It gets better, though; we made our first contact through a phone personals ad in our local alternative paper... my headline said "Mad Genius Sought." We talked about 30 hours (not a typo) on the phone before we met in person, and yes, $ was one of the many topics we covered; we also talked about how we felt about marriage, playing house, children, and religion and politics, too... all the things we've gotten the idea are no-no's to talk about early on that are in fact ESSENTIAL to talk about BEFORE you start sleeping together and/or fall in love and thus cease to be objective.
Although you're certainly a cutie, I'm nearly old enough to be your mother... and I'd feel like a child molestor with a guy your age. At this point in my life, "my type" would have to be 35 or over, I think.
Post a Comment
<< Home